8 comments
One Man’s Attempt: A Journey Through Books
As one of the many non-financial side benefits of being a semi-well-known writer of books, I sometimes get emails from publicists asking for help in promoting other semi-well-known writers. Considering that the Walgreens Corporation sells more tampons in one hour than I have books in my entire career, this is a mistake on the part of the publicists. But who am I to disabuse them of their illusions of my influence?
I recently received an email from a publicist about No Man’s Lands: One Man’s Odyssey Through The Odyssey, by NPR correspondent Scott Huler. According to the publicist: “The book follows the author’s true travel adventure as he attempts to retrace the legendary steps of Odysseus, from the ancient ruins of Troy to his ultimate destination in Ithaca. His mission: to both understand the classic tale and its hero and get to know himself better in the process.”
That sounds interesting enough. Shades of A.J. Jacobs! But why turn to me for promotional assistance? “It all began for Huler when he declared on national radio that he refused to read Joyce’s Ulysses. The idea of the everyman hero traveling and experiencing adventure beyond his wildest expectations inspired Huler to retrace Odysseus’ steps while his loving family (and a new baby, his wife found out she was preggers right before he left!) awaited his return.”
Ah, of course! Brainy midlister with a “preggers” wife heads off on a midlife criss disguised as a quixotic adventure. Sometimes, I loathe myself beyond measure. But this promotional email got me thinking about my next book. Maybe I, too, could retrace the steps of a great work of literature, discovering something about myself in the process. Now help me brainstorm as I come up with my next remaindered work.
Boats Against The Current: Getting Drunk In The Shadow Of F. Scott Fitzgerald. I roam the Hamptons in search of inspiration, discovering that architecture may change, but rich douchebags are eternal.
Fire Of My Loins: In Search Of Nabokov’s America. A pathetic 256-page slither through cheap motel culture, largely concentrated in Colorado Springs, while accompanied by a 13-year-old girl (who is actually 18).
Gullible’s Travels. Seeking Swiftian-style satiric rebirth, I visit a country where the people are very short, a country where people are very tall, and, in an extended drug-fueled episode, a country where the residents have horse’s heads and human bodies. Also, I consider eating a baby to prove a point about overpopulation, but worry that the act might cut into my readership.
The Sheltering Guy: A Quest To Sleep With All The Male Prostitutes In Tunisia. An unlikely attempt to recreate the mid-life adventures of Paul Bowles.
One Man’s Attempt: One Man’s Attempt To Read All The Books Written About One Man’s Attempt To Do Something. This project will take forever.
Add our feed
Offsprung Columns
I,Fraudius: Neal tries to quell his nagging insecurities by re-tracing the club-footed steps of the most unlikely of Caesars.