The Andrew Dice Clay answer: "I'll pull out."

Wow - how ironic. That was the biggest lie ever told TO me!

That I don't exist.

I have never told a lie.

That is the biggest lie I have ever told.

I am The Greatest Living American Writer.

You've told me that, like, three times Neal.

This is a toughy- I HATE lying, even little white lies to protect feelings or to keep my kid from throwing a fit over something.

When I was 18, I fell in love with my high school boyfriend's best friend and lied about it for months. The ensuing turmoil was so horrific that the boyfriend was still working through things six years later, in AA, when he contacted me as a part of step 4 (?) . Yes, I'm a bad, awful person.

During a drunken night in college, when trying to get an ex-girlfriend into bed I said, "Yes, I could see us getting back together."

I felt really bad about it later.

I lied about a fling I was having with a guy in our group of friends. We'd both recently broken up with other people in that same group of friends. It was messy.

That is, I was having the fling and lying by insisting that we were just platonic.

I don't lie so much as I withhold information.

Meg - me too.

It's just safer, dontcha think Leighbie? You don't have to remember the details of the lie that way.

"Yeah, sure, that's fine," has been one that has bitten me on the ass a million times. I'm trying (pretty successfully, due to a relationship with someone with a low tolerance for bullshit) to abstain from the meta-lie of my life.

Ummm....i'm currently dating a guy 17 years older than me, and have been for almost 9 months. I tell my parents I'm hanging out with a girl friend. I think that's my biggest...at least longest lived and still living lie...

Any version of: "No. It's OK. I'm not mad. That didn't hurt my feelings."

Which was actually code for: "I am totally going to start looking for your replacement, fucker."