I just listened to my friend/ non-parent rant on and on about how annoyed she was with all the kids that she spent the weekend camping with. She complained about the children, the parents, the parenting and lack of parenting going on during this camping trip. She complained about what the kids ate and did not eat, how loud they played, how the played, she just kept blathering on and on.

I had a really hard time not telling her to shut it. Really?! She chose on to have children, thats just fine. But I have a hard time sitting a listening to her complain about everyones else's kids and their parenting. Makes me wonder what she has to say about me and my boys. I politely told her that it's easy to judge other peoples parenting when you don't have any kids. Then said I have 6 load of laundry to fold, gotta go...Ever feel like telling judging non-parents to shove it?

Feel like it? Heck yea. On several notable occassions. And sometimes I went ahead and told them to stuff it. It feels great. Do it.

I have an older brother who doesn't have kids but is an air force officer -- so he has troops so he knows how to get them in shape after he gets them from their permissive, spoiling parents. I want to smack him half the time.

His favorite thing is to blather on about how "when we were kids, we didn't have bike helmets", that sort of thing. I did finally tell him to shut it on those stupid points. The rules about bike helmets (and other child safety rules) came about because of so many brain injuries (or poisonings, or strangulations, or whatever).

He's a dumbass.

Reminds me of the thread a few days ago about childless friends... Maybe when she has kids someday (if ever), you can subtly remind her of how annoyed she was this particular weekend... Sorry. It's hard to listen to people gripe sometimes, especially if you have no sympathy!

I have a player on my softball team that does this. But I think it's more a personality trait than just something against kids sometimes. When people bring their dogs to the game and she'll sit there and bark orders at the dogs, too. But their only orders according to her morals. Drink this, don't drink that, don't sniff that, sniff this...all pretty subjective. Same with what she thinks the kids should be doing. It seems more of a fixed mindset issue than a kid issue with her, maybe with others, too.

My friend would judge just about anything harshly, I should not be surprised. I had to wonder how the parents of those kids felt being around her husband who was absurdly drunk all weekend. This couple are not planning on having any kids, ever. So I find it really tiring to hear how everyone who has kids are failing miserably at it...They sure have a bunch of opinions about how do it "right",though.

That really gets me when people who have "chosen" not to have kids, think they know how to best raise them. I want to tell them, "if you think you could do so much better, why the hell didn't you go on and have kids?" I know the answer to that one. Because then they would have to eat their opinions and realize how full of shit they were.

Yeah. I just got tsk-tsked by the guy at the airport coffee shop for giving my kid tap water to drink. Horror! If I hadn't really wanted the coffee and/or really wanted a lawsuit, I would have entertained the option of throwing it in his face.

i find it amazing to think they always forget they themselves were kids once too. We weren't all born at the age of 35, organised, ironed and starched, and looking down our noses at the world. They all gave someone the shits when they were kids too. They cried, they screamed, they wet their pants and bit other kids. Little shits. :)

Ok, so I'm going to have to be the voice of dissent in this conversation.

To me there are two issues, first your friend complaining to you about other people's children, and second other people's children behaving "poorly". The first is pretty inexcusable. Keep that shit to yourself or share it with your partner and other childless friends, that's what I do! Regarding the second, I've totally been judgmental about a friends parenting style (I'd wager that at one point or another everyone here has been as well), and I've also been completely supportive of other friends parenting styles. Some people don't, in my opinion, raise their children well and then become completely oblivious to the terrorizing little shits that their children have become.

I wouldn't worry about what she may be saying about you and yours, in fact I'd venture to say that if she was sharing it with you she may respect the way that you are raising your boys. She may see it as this is what you're doing right and the others are doing wrong.

Were the other kids being brats?

I have a pretty tight group of friends, four of us have kids, and three do not. We are all pretty open with each other, and there's an understanding in our group that when you speak whatever you say can, and will, be used against you. There is no pulling of punches.

One of my childless friends often makes wild proclamations about proper parenting. Sometimes they are knowingly absurd for the purpose of riling up the crowd and generating some fun discussion, sometimes they are obtuse and spoken out of sheer ignorance (we flame him just the same anyway) and surprisingly, when he's not trying to piss us off, what he says is often insightful. Even when he does say something out of ignorance, he's open to hearing about how it really is.

Don't know what my point is... I guess it's just that things aren't always cut and dry. Just because someone doesn't have experience in an area doesn't mean they can't speak to it; we all have a right to our opinions. But opinions are like assholes; everybody's got one, and they're mostly full of shit.

Apparently, some of the kids were misbehaving or perceived to be misbehaving. Sounded like mostly normal kids stuff, with a few exceptions. I asked where the parents where while the kids were misbehaving. She got defensive about the parents needed to do things like cooking meals or something. I felt like she just needed to vent about how much she did not really like camping with the kids and how they bugged her and her husband. She also just went on and on about poor parenting, but defended to parents not keeping an eye on the kids. I confused.

I didn't really learn how to have patience until I had a kid. I worked with kids and had patience for the limited window of time I was working with them, but I probably bitched about their conduct when I was off the clock. When I had my child I learned to let go, relax, and do things on his pace. If it takes us half an hour to walk to the mail box and back because there is grass to tromp on, rocks to point out, manhole covers to stand on, curbs to balance on, and planes to watch overhead, so be it. If he shrieks loudly because he's excited, awesome. But I didn't have these skills before I was a parent. That said, I always liked kids and worked as a camp counselor, so camping with kids wouldn't phase me, before or after my child. And if you hate kids, don't sign on to camp with them. Duh.

And yeah, there are people's parenting decisions I don't agree with or I wonder about, but in general I try very hard to remember that what works for my kid and my family cannot be extrapolated out to other people. Which doesn't always work. But still, that's the theory.

That said, I really do hate it when people without kids go on and on about how other people should raise their children. It is different when they're your own, in both good and bad ways. You try not sleeping for months and then see how much patience you have with a total melt down at the grocery store when you need some damn coffee creamer because coffee is all that's keeping you going.

Also, some people don't understand that even "good" kids have BAD days where they scream, or throw things, or tantrum, or are destructive, and that that's a natural part of being a kid regardless of how awesome the parents are.

why did this person go camping with a bunch of kids? my solution for the future would be just not to invite someone who doesn't like kids to a kid-heavy event, and if she asks why she wasn't invited, to just say "there were lots of kids there, it would have driven you crazy." for the present, i would just say "i guess next time you should make sure there are no kids involved before you go camping" or whatever.