I have to get this off my chest. At the funeral, my grandparents slipped me a card for the new baby (I have two older girls and just had a little boy). Like many grandparents, they give each kid a little cash each birthday, we usually spend it on stuff the kids need (boots, school supplies, stuff like that). The girls have consistently gotten $25, which is exactly what I got growing up, every year. It's not a bad system. If I had RESP's set up for the kids (a college fund), I'd probably put it straight in there, but there's always been something pressing that I've put the money towards instead.

My husband checked it on the way home. $100.

Now really, I shouldn't complain. When our roof needed major repairs and they had an investment roll over, they split it between me and one of my cousins who also was having tight times (and for QUITE a bit more than $100).

But part of me really cringes at the difference in amount between the girls and the wee boy. Is it weird to say I'd have been happier with less?

No, it's not weirs at all! I've had the same experience. We had a son and then a daughter and the excitement seems to have waned. I keep telling myself that it's because she's the second, which I'm sure has something to do with it. However, he too received more money that she has. We've made up the difference and put equal amounts into their accounts.

Also, he received tons of books and she's received tons of clothes. She has dresses with petticoats! It's August in L.A. and she's 11 weeks old. All she wears are her brother's old onesies or just a diaper. Also, those diaper covers that go with the dresses, they cut off her circulation. I have a drawer filled with them that I never use. It's depresses me. Sorry to rant, you brought up a point that's been making me sad... All of our relatives focusing on how pretty she is, when he was a baby it was how strong he was. I figure all I can do is try to let them know that they can be whatever kind of boy or girl they want to be.

Just to play devil's advocate maybe they thought with three now you could use more?

But the differences made by others between boys and girls are a little nuts.

That's funny. We got a check from a member of CPF's family for $1000.00 when CrazyLime was born. But nothing when Reid was born. Either Reid's birth escaped him, he sent one check for the two kids, or he's very happy that we have added a male heir.

Very generous and I'm not overthinking it. Just an interesting observance.

i think im comforted and saddened that im not the only one.

I feel for you wookie, that sucks (not the money part but the differing value part). I am getting tired of people responding, "Now you're going to have to try again to get a boy" when I tell them my twins are girls. Hello, I'm not through the first year with twins yet, thanks.

maybe the grandparents were trying to counteract the usual thing where the third child gets fewer gifts than the firstborn?

he received tons of books and she's received tons of clothes

ok, on this i have to say in their defence - as the mother of a boy - it is hard to find cute boy clothes. i have seen cargo pants in an entire rainbow of different shades of khaki, but that's where the variety ends for the most part. the boy's section is a quarter the size of the girl's section in most stores. not fair!

We opted for a surprise at birth instead of finding out the sex. It was a girl, and the best way to describe it- being that she's the first grandchild on both sides- was that we were treated as if we got a consolation prize. I alomost defenestrated a few people for asking how my husband was handling it (that he made a girl). WTF? He contributed to creating our perfect child, he's fucking thrilled! Then people started with the when are you trying for a boy bullshit and I was like "Soon as I forget what it was like getting stitches in my vagina." Which was a lie b/c I love having a daughter and I'd love to have more girls.

I think that when people have all of one type ( all boys or all girls) people aske when they are going for the other type. They always use sexist stereotypes to describe the reasons the family needs the one they don't have. I hate that.

It sucks that they gave you more for the boy. Its the way people are, unfortunatly. You have my sympathies.

hotmama - we did the same, to avoid the pink/blue stuff.

There's only one grandchild or great grandchild in our family and it's a boy, so I'll be interested in seeing if there is such a discrepancy. I wouldn't be surprised, because according to my grandma my cousin (the only boy grandchild she has) is "the smart one" even though it's my sister and I getting the PhD's in things too complicated to thoroughly explain to non-experts. Which is not to say that he's an idiot at all, but COME ON. Why is he the SMART one? My sister can make the NERVES GROW BACK IN YOUR BODY if you SEVER them!

(Um, it's possible I'm a bit put out by this).

mcg, I thought nerves would never grow back. Damn, that's impressive.
Next month, my wife will be doing sort of the opposite, delivering the first girl into my side of the family. My parents have seven grandsons and for the moment, no granddaughters. My siblings are done breeding, so this was their last chance. And they thought we were done breeding, so it's kind of exciting.
I'll let you know if the new one gets any special treatment. Being she'll be my daughter, I'm hoping so. Just to piss off my sister. ;)

Diggy, currently nerves can be regrown if the cut is 3 cm or less. My sister is working on nerve guides that will help grow nerves back if the cut is wider than that. It's freaking impressive as all hell. :)

I have to agree with Selena about the clothes. I'm sure if they made cuter boys' clothes, we'd have gotten more.

Oops, gotta run, the wee boy is crying in bed -- whassup with him????

OK, he's asleep again. Anyway, um, I have two boys with no plans for more, and on my husband's side so far it's all male children and we're 50-50 gender wise on my side (my sis has two girls and my bro has one of each, which is funny since he's the middle child). So far I can't see any difference in how the kids are being treated by the grandparents. In fact, I'd say my parents work very hard to be exceedingly fair to them all.

So I guess it all depends on who the grandparents are....

I agree with the fact that girls clothes are more varied and fun to buy than boys, but it seems to me that this just begins girls being told that that's what they're supposed to be interested in. It also seems that boys are dressed for comfort and durability and girls are supposed to suffer for their cute clothes and not get dirty. So many of the girl's color are light, which by nature just forces whoever does the laundry to not want them to get dirty.

I know I am grossly exaggerating here, but, as I said before, this topic strikes a nerve with me. Mostly because my mother treated my bother like the heir and I was actually told I couldn't do things because I was a girl. As a teenager she told m she was less strict with him because he couldn't get pregnant. Never mind that he could be out getting others pregnant. Ok, I'll save the rest for therapy.

I think $100 wasn't nearly enough. I mean, boys are cool. Way to go, wookie.

Could it just be that their situation is different? Maybe it's got nothing to do with you and your family.

We've actually experienced the exact opposite. We raked it in when Girl Grey was born, but have only gotten half to two-thirds the response for Baby Grey (boy). And, they are 5 years apart which seems reasonable to think that people would be equally generous since it's been so long (and we didn't keep anything) and because it's a different sexed baby. I was feeling pretty bad for Baby Grey because it seemed like he was going unnoticed, but then we got several late gifts and I felt better. Not because I'm materialistic, but because it just felt like no one cared about his birth. Still, Girl Grey got way more.

Come to think of it, one of Earl Grey's uncles sent Girl Grey four cute onesies and another article or two of clothing from the Gap when she was born and sent Baby Grey $200. But, I've never once thought it was a gender disparity issue.

I had to look up the word "defenestrated". That's a very specific word. I like it.

Defenestrate is one of my favorite words...ever.