Okay, I need some opinions. My daughter is entering grade 1. Previous 2 years were an sk/jk split, same teacher both years.

The first year we had some bullying problems, as my daughter is a little eccentric and quite short. This year, she seemed to find her own and settle in with a group of boys that accepted and played with her.

However, this year they are doing two 1/2 splits rather than a grade 1 and a grade 2. I would (a) like to avoid the bully and (b) keep her with her friends.

The school has not announced anything about how it will be done or when. I would like to advocate for my daughter to keep her with her friends, because she was absolutely miserable for most of the first year and part of the second.

Is this a stupid reason to stick my oar in or is it a good one, and how do I do this without pissing off the teachers or coming off like some overprotective helicopter mommy?

Well, isn't school starting next week??? Just go to the school and in the nicest possible way explain the situation and see if they can group your daugther with her friends.

I have been there. My son is bullied. A couple of thoughts. You can avoid the bully in one class only to land in a class with a different bully, so sometimes avoiding is not the issue. Although, we had one bully that was so that did become a remedy (the school removed the bully from my son's classroom).

One thing is for sure -- squelch any thought that any of the teachers have that bullying is just something your child needs to "just deal with" or that its "part of being in school" or any other inane rhetoric. Make sure you are firm from the beginning that you want any bullying dealt with at the onset. You will tolerate no less.

But then I'm one to stick my oar in.

I think you're right to take an interest, so maybe
appeal to the teachers self interest?

Maybe say something like: "I know you are aware of the bullying situation we had last year, maybe it would be easier for everyone if "Daughter" was able to be in a supportive peer environment this year?"

They don't want trouble - You'll be more of a pain in the arse if you're kid gets picked on.

Extremely valid reason; we used to make an effort in our planning to construct classes that were less likely to present discipline issues.

I would observe, too, that, while I don't think that *you're* at all annoying, annoying parents often have good idears.

Depends how they assign - if you've got some pull with her sk teacher (and since she had your daughter two years I expect she knows you fairly well) you could try to get her on board as an advocate. When we made up the classes personalities were definitely considered - of the student being placed, the teacher and the rest of the class.

With a small school like that you'll probably run into this repeatedly, I'm afraid.

Make the call - the worst they can do is say no.

emmak, it was in reading your response that I realized how similar the spellings of "nicest" and "incest" are.

Also, wookie, there is a good chance, I think, that your school has already preemptively done this. Good luck, at any rate.

ahem... yes, "your" -- geez, quick picking on me CPF or I'm going to tell my mom!!!

Oh, sorry, Leighbie--that wasn't aimed at you at all!!! I was trying to stress "you" meaning wookie, I didn't notice that in your post!

I would totally stick my oar in. That's what counselors and guidance people are for. I will always have a soft spot in my heart for my grade 9 guidance counselor who was really tired of splitting up my group of friends, who were the "good" kids, to balance out the pain in the ass ones, and let us have a fantastic year all together.

At any rate, they will be made aware of the situation. From my experience as the daughter of a school principal, they usually try to make sure each kid has at least one good friend in their class.

just for clarification, what is a split? not sure i get the terminology (although once you explain, I'm sure I'll probably go "doh!")

a split is when they have two grades in one class. They have too many grade 2's to have one grade 2 class (we have maximum class sizes mandated by the province) so they will have, say, 13 grade 2 students and 7 grade 1's in each class instead of having a class of 26 grade 2's (too big!) and 14 grade 1's.

Wondertimes magazine had a VERY good article on bullying in the past issue. It offered some very helpful suggestions. I would check it out if your kid (or you) have this issue.

Hi! I hope that it's ok to jump in here. I would be asking about the placement and explaining your concerns. If the bullying becomes a problem you might want to suggest looking into PlayFair Teams. It is a multiage program set up to promote positive attitudes about disability, social justice and inclusion. The outcomes from it have been very good. You can find out more at www.inclusion.com

Stick that oar in!

I would raise your concerns, but to the principal. Teachers usually have input into class assignments, but principals sign off on class lists. And I would definitely frame it as "avoiding the bully" rather than "being with her friends", because I have known several administrators who basically figure kids will make new friends if they don't know the ones in their class already. But it sounds like you have a very good reason, so I hope your administration is reasonable. If your daughter does end up with the bully, I say go talk to the teacher right off the bat and make sure they're aware of the situation. They probably are, but best to make sure they're not blindsided.

Also, I'm teaching a split this year, and I'm glad to know that's done other places as well! I was feeling a little lonely, since even other teachers I talk to think it's really weird.