Is there such a thing? I think most of us would say yes, but is it societal or individually instilled. Would you as a mom feel comfortable wearing a bikini and do you think that it is appropriate to wear a bikini once you become a mom? Setting aside all personal body image concerns. What do you think? What do you think when you go to the pool or the beach and you see a young mom who still has a good body after having kids and is wearing a bikini; would you think she was slutty? I would also like to know what the men think. If it was your wife, would you feel comfortable with her wearing a bikini or would it make you feel uncomfortable having the mother of your children looking like a MILF, or would you not even care? Share your thoughts!

It depends on the bikini, obviously, but these days a bikini is an acceptable form of bathing attire for all women. I hear what you're saying, but it would take lots of other sexual symbols in addition to the bikini to signify that she's looking for sexual appreciation.

I would have no problem with the bikini because it signifies a desire to be close to the sun and be warm - not necessarily slutty. Even if it were my wife I would not imagine having any problem with it.

I personally will not wear a bikini because my stomach came out looking pretty terrible after pregnancy. I have no issue with other moms choosing to wear whatever to the beach. My spouse says he would be happy to see me in a bikini.

I don't think that provocative dressing has anything to do with being a mom or the sexual activities of a person. I think sometimes people wear things I think are tacky or not flattering, but that would be true if they had zero kids or seven and I wouldn't correlate that to how many people they've slept with.

I am definitely envious of moms who still look good in bikinis, but it's completely appropriate if that's what they want to wear.

Although I had a weird conversation about this with another mom at the pool this summer. She was telling me she always wears a t-shirt when she goes in the pool with her toddlers because, "well, you know" and sort of motioned toward her chest. Meanwhile I'm standing there looking all Chesty LaRue in my tankini with a big question mark over my head. Oops.

So I recognize that there is a taboo of sorts, but I wonder why that is?

My own mom still wears a bikini, and she is 55! She looks great in it, so why shouldn't she wear it?! I still haven't lost all my baby weight so I'm not sure how I'd feel about wearing any bathing suit this summer.
In general, of course it's fine for moms to wear a bikini or anything else they please. I was brought up in Europe, where plenty of moms are topless on the beach with their children. I wouldn't do that due to my own body issues, but I don't have a problem with others doing it.
It is as appropriate for moms to wear whatever they want as it is for any other person.

The two reasons I changed the way I dress after having a child are: 1) I check my hemlines and necklines to make sure that while running after my child I don't accidently expose more than I intend to 2) I'm not the skinny little bitch I was six years ago. I'm still thin, but I couldn't get away with wearing what I used to.

I love bikinis. I just don't love my stretch marks.

My husband thinks I dress a little too much on the modest side. He lurves the miniskirts.

I really don't think there is a guideline for appropriate clothes for a mom. If an outfit is "trampy," it's that way regardless of who is wearing it. To me, "mom clothes" is another way of saying sweats. Ick. I think the notion of appropriate attire for moms is BS and implies that moms can't be sexy or sophisticated.

Considering that I haven't worn a bikini since I was about 5 I really don't get why anyone would wear one. Generally anyone over teen years wearing one kind of weirds me out.

Slutty? No. I just don't get them.

I agree with mamawho.

The entire idea of something being "not appropriate" or "too sexy" for a woman who is also a mother to wear is that we, culturally, just are not comfortable with mothers also being sexual people. Which is completely stupid, because if a woman has been pregnant and given birth, she's had sex at some point. And being an actual person, she probably wants to do it again at some point.

And for me, there are some things that I won't wear now that I used to wear a lot. Mini-skirts, for example. But, I'm also not a grad student anymore and I'm close to 40 lbs up from what I was before I had the boys, so even if it were appropriate for my daily life as a teacher, it wouldn't look nearly as good now as it used to. However, I'm a lot more about the cleavage now than I used to be and I don't really see a problem with that either.

I've never worn a bikini in my life. Even before I had the beast I wouldn't have considered one because I BURN. My stomach is lucky if it gets ten minutes of sunlight per year. That said, if a mom wants to wear a bikini go for it, what difference does it make whether you've birthed a child or not? I mean, I'd hope that people can go out IN a bikini without being a "MILF" and just being...a person in a bikini? As far as everyday dress I still wear the clothes I did post-pregnant...I don't think having a child should turn me into a mom-jean wearing kind of girl.

I'm wearing a bikini these days and loving it, except for the burn RIGHT BETWEEN MY BOOBS. I'm sort of confused by the idea of dressing differently because I'm a mom. I'm a 34-yr-old single woman in LA who lost 15-20 pounds over the course of the last year. I feel great, and dress accordingly.

Never have worn a bikini, not going to start now.

But the most appropriate mom-wear? Cargo shorts! Phone here, wallet there, keys and juice boxes down there. Look like hell, but I'm shopping for yogurt or running after baby in the park, not trying to be sexy. (Go straight to naked for that, since there is so little time.)

I wear tankinis mainly, but if I felt better about my tummy, I'd probably rock a bikini. I need to lose maybe ten more pounds to get to that point.

The only thing that would make me hesitate is that Eli still grabs at my chest (we are working on it, trust me) so I would be concerned that he'd give a yank and I'd be giving the whole pool or beach a free show.

As for the rest of my wardrobe, I've got some dresses that show a bit of skin (a brown linen halter dress I love in particular); I tend to wear those on date nights. I never dressed terribly provocatively in the past, so I am not going to start now. Not for any reason other than comfort, really.

I think you can come across as a tramp one piece and I think you can look happy and comfortable and appropriate in a bikini. I'm jealous of women who like their own body enough to put it out there, but their breeding status doesn't really enter into it.

(lies - if they look great and dress accordingly and have had kids I hate them with a hate that rivals the heat of the sun - but, good for them!)

I don't care if they are moms or not but the obviously late 40's ladies dressing like they are teenagers bothers me a lot. After I had kids and grew up my wardrobe changed but I still wear stuff that makes me feel sexy.

I like to wear clothing that is mature sexy not babydoll sexy.

The university pool where we swam this summer was MILF Island-worthy. I don't think of the bikini-clad as slutty, but I am very envious of their hard work, self-discipline and/or genetic predisposition to come out of child bearing in that condition. Myself, I'm in the tankini bunch.

If I even slightly resembled a MILF, I would wear a bikini daily and everywhere. At this point in my life, I wouldn't give a flying fuck who thought I looked slutty. I've learned to worry less and less about people's opinions and it is quite freeing. That is not to say I am completely without concern or regard for other's feelings and opinions, but mostly, I'm gonna do what the hell I wanna do!!

I'm pretty much with the rest of the sentiment here - why should it matter? And hell yeah if I felt comfortable, I'd totally wear one.

But the post did make me realize that I'm a lot more comfortable in a swimsuit - any swimsuit - than I was before I gave birth. It's like running around in a swimsuit after a toddler in public finally gives me permission to think, "F* you! I have a kid to take care of," where before I would have been sucking it in the whole afternoon. I guess I just care so much less now what (most) people think. It's pretty liberating.

Apologies to all who've used it here, but does the term "MILF" drive anyone else up a wall? I mean, if it weren't an acronym, and if we were just saying "fuckable" instead, don't you think it would bother you to hear people referring to mothers that way?

JM, I concur.

All the women who've had children and then manage to get six pack abs (and there is one at the pool I take the boys to) and wear their bikinis and look great while chasing their toddlers around the kiddie pool--I hate them. I hate them for their genetic predisposition to look like that and I hate them for the obvious free time and ample sleep that allows them to work out regularly enough for it to happen. It really isn't fair.

And I'm a tankini with a skirted bottom person myself.

Yes, mm, I hate MILF. Especially since in the minds of the asshats who say it, it's supposed to be a compliment. And because it's meant to sound slightly pervy, like, oh I'm doing someone's mom... it's all about objectification and ownership. Frankly, I'm not flattered if you want to fuck me, especially if it's just because you think I'm "hot." I'd much prefer to be a MILTHLPDW (mother I'd like to have long philosophical discussions with). But then, I've always found it much more of a turn on when people think my brain is hot, not my body. I'm totally wearing a brain bikini.

"Brain bikini" is genius. Love it.

When people use MILF seriously, I hate it. I'm fairly certain when we use it here, we're anything but serious. My husband uses it occasionally, but to describe women who would be "cougars" if they were a few years older. He only uses it in conversation with me, because I know *exactly* what he means - it's the few moms at PTA that wear really revealing clothes and then get WAY to close to the few dads at the meetings. One "accidently" tripped and landed in my husband's lap. I have independent verification of that event. Funny, sad, and pathetic.

haha! chesty larue! i'm totally stealing that (as i am also busty)

i wear a bikini, though i probably don't look so great in it, what with the baby pooch. but whatever, i don't have the dough for a new suit, and the top is easy to nurse in.

I am a fully paid up MILF but I wouldn't wear a bikini simply because my stomach is not what it was
...but I think moms should wear them if they want, why not?
I think those thongs hanging out the tops of low riser jeans look more slutty but I think maybe I'm just getting old and prudish!

I don't think it's possible for me to look anything other than obscene in a bathing suit that isn't structurally reinforced with steel (G-H cup... google maps can see my boobs).

However, if you wear something that makes you feel good and confident, go for it. But club wear is only appropriate in clubs, and bikinis only ay the beach/pool.

context is everything, but wether or not you are a parent shouldn't be a part of that equation. Has anyone ever factored whether or not a guy is a dad into what he's wearing o the beach?

As usual, I agree with Shauna, although I personally do not wear a bikini because of my twin-skin situation. I look mighty cute in my polka-dot retro-cut though.

I am all about looking sexy and being a mom. How did we become moms in the first place if not for sex?

I think looking sexy is great for a mom, but there is a chance of crossing over into looking sexually predatory. Not sure how to describe it other than the old "you know it when you see it." And I have to admit I have found myself thinking "are you trying to steal everyone's husband?" But that's probably just because I was jealous.

If you're comfortable in a bikini, more power to you! I personally don't wear one, mainly because these days I'd probably scare small children and the elderly, but I think it's a woman's choice to dress sexy, whether she's a mom or not.

Before kids, I was all about mini skirts, short shorts, lots of cleavage and heels. After kids, and while teaching preschool, I found it hard to bend down to look kids in the eye without showing my goodies. DaddyMartini is a big fan of sexy clothes, and HATES what he calls the 'old lady clothes' I wear to events at my daughter's Christian School.

So now at the ripe old age of 30, my closet houses less mini skirts and short shorts than it did 8 year ago, and I mostly wear capris or longer-ish skirts. I'm keeping my heels and cleavage though.

Being sexy or looking sexy really doesn't have much to do with the clothes you wear. In fact, some clothes try so hard to be sexy that the outfit completely misses it's mark and quickly becomes, "PROSTITUTE". What's sexy about a street hooker?

I'm jealous of those people who aren't even trying to look sexy but they just ooze it everywhere they go. It's a hard line to tow, tyring to look sexy while trying not to try to look sexy. (Did that come out right?)

If you're comfy in a bikini, by all means wear one, even if you're not conventionally skinny. I think slutty depends on how the bikini is cut. Triangles over the boobs and thong? Slutty. Boyshorts and regular top? Not slutty. I think there's a difference between slutty and sexy, though. Tankinis or boyshorts can definitely be sexy.

The thing that bugs me the most is women that don't dress age -appropriately. You know, the forty year olds in microminis and midriff halter-tops. It's possible to dress appropriately and be super sexy. I think a pencil skirt can be as sexy, if not more so, than a micromini.

wow, it would never occur to me to think that having kids should change the way you dress, even though i do tend to have the same feelings about age-appropriate dressing. e.g., a hot-pink t-shirt with "princess" spelled out in sparklies looks foolish on anyone old enough to vote. has nothing to do with modesty.

i wear bikinis and always have because all of my height is in my torso - one-piece suits are uncomfortable.

i could see putting a t-shirt over the bathing suit if you were so engorged that you couldn't find a swimsuit that wasn't x-rated. or if you were trying to wean your toddler, and didn't want him/her looking at your chest and getting ideas.