For the guys...can men fake it?

Ooooh...I want the answer to this one! Maybe with a condon to do away with the telltale mess or lack thereof?

LOL

OK, I'm DYING to hear this. I would think if there's a condom involved, yes, but absent that how could they fake it?

We so need a cocktail party.

I guess it's possible, but why would they?

Yes I have.

I couldn't tell you whether its it was detectable by my female partner at the time.

She didn't seem to notice.

Why? Because somehow during the act of sex, I thought about her and how I wasn't really enjoying it and how unattractive she really was.

(Ok I had bad timing on the thinking part, but critical thinking and sex are not frequent companions)

AnywayN since its very difficult toi complete the act once you start carrying on an internal monologue
(That's why men think about baseball during sex, to prevent finishing too early)

Seemed like the best way to extracate myself from the situation was to fake it.

It worked.

But only a woman could tell you if it works enough to fool them.

Hope I didn't shatter any illusions

to get it over with?

I'll confess that it happened with me once. When you get to be old like me, the guys you sleep with are even older. And once I guess this man just wasn't going to, you know.... so instead of saying something, he faked. I've been with older men who will just openly acknowledge that it's not going to happen that time and that's totally awesome when they can.

I'm a slut.

Did I overshare?

ruth - you're killing me. srsly. too funny.

i would think that men can fake (as confirmed here) for similar reasons women fake it.

And ruth i bet i give you a run for your money on the slut part... :)

Oh come on, SOMEONE please respond so I'm not hanging out there!!

oh and MNM what the *hell* made you think of this?

yay, GG and I were simul-posting!

hi ruth! having coffee and trolling the web whilst the hubby is at job 2.

coffee at this hour? I'd be up until 4 am.

Wanna compare slut stories? My slut-hood was all after my marriage but I made up for lost time. :)

GG - Well, I think I may have finally worn AlphaGeek out...and I suspect he just doesn't want to say anything. I can't really get into details without it getting kind of...gross. So I won't specify what my suspicions are.

LOL

MNM, again, the grossness is probably the only way to tell. The time my partner faked it was obvious because we weren't using condoms (I swear we knew we were safe). I just let it go.

But it's so much easier if they can be honest. Although I understand why it would be very hard to admit that as a man because the stereotype is that they're always ready.

ruth - suuurree. Mine involves brothers specifically twins and their older brother. That's one for the story books.

GG - *blushes* my bad. I thought may be you were trying to win a bet w/AG.

GG, mine just involves many, many (way too many) one night stands and a few short-term FWBs. All as a fairly old chick too, from 37 to 40. That's why I know all about the old dudes :)

Nice ruth!

i had one FWB for 4 yrs (there were others but he was a clear favorite). He was crushed when I got married. :)

No, not trying to win a bet...just find some reassurance.

well rest assured i know it's happened to me...

LOL

MNM, I really think if it happens, it's because the guy doesn't want to hurt any feelings. Which is the same reason women fake it, but in this case my sympathies are with men, because there's such pressure on them to always be ready or whatever.

My BF was pretty clear about saying that he just couldn't get there. It wasn't an ED issue so I guess I didn't understand why he'd be worried, but he was. Men feel pressure to be virile and ready all the time. So please, PLEASE don't feel bad. Take it from a slut who has fucked way too many guys.... this is not you, it's him, and that's ok.

GG & Ruth- my wild days were before I got married.

We don't fake it in my house/bed. We just give a little signal that the other should finish and the we say thanks after (Like, sorry it wasn't your night but that was great for me). Not sure why anyone would fake it- esp. in a marriage. Seems like a lot of wasted energy between people who are supposed to share their lives forever.

hotmama, a lot depends on how you think the other person will take it. The time I had a guy fake it, I asked about it and got a good, honest answer and from that point on all was cool. But in an insecure relationship it can be hard to ask or answer because of the expectations we THINK are on us.

mine too hotmama mine too (whistful sigh)

I never have faked it. I've always been honest with my wife that way.

Who cares as long as I get mines.

No srsly, that would suck. I got nothing.

Ruth, I agree for FWB's or any other sex partner besides a husband/wife/life partner relationship. I faked before in my wild days, just not anymore. I get it. I don't really worry about what I am supposed to do or how he'll take it (vice versa with him).

But all this talk about sex is kinda reminding me I'm not having any. On the flip side, at least he does not have to fake it.

I need to be told what a FWB is.

I think Mr Ellie has faked it once (without giving way TMI, there's a telltale giveaway, but it's not the one you're thinking, and it's individual to him.), but it was one of those "it's never going to happen and we're both about to die from trying" kind of things. After that, I just told him to tell me if it just wasn't going to happen, because I wasn't going to hold it against him or be upset, and I didn't want him killing himself trying for my sake, because I always get mine. *Ahem.*

HBD - Friend with benefits (also called Fuck Buddy.)

MNM - Because you'll miss it if I don't say it... HARLOT! TRAMP! ANIMAL!

I've faked it before. And yes, a condom was used. I can't really see any other way to do it. Capt pretty much summed it up, but for me it wasn't about the attractiveness or unattractiveness of my partner. Once the internal monologue starts going, it can pretty much get in the way. When I was younger I used to have a hang up about it, so it was easier to fake than to actually talk about it.

I have no idea if the girls knew about it or not.

Fake what?

I love how this question was directed to men, and out of all the responses, only three are by actual men. Two of which contain answers!

Ellie, if you didn't tease me, I'd think you didn't love me anymore!

You would have to be a really inexperienced woman to not notice a fake by a man. Of course there is the obvious proof in the luv pudding (and I would think a condom would be more difficult to fake unless it was so damn dark in the room she couldn't see when he pulled out), but unless he's not very big, there are certain obvious things you can feel at that moment.

MNM - if you are over-working him, it could just be that his supplies are very low and the moment isn't quite as big as you are used to.

I don't think I've ever been faked out.

I totally get the inner monologue thing too. TMI I know but usually if I can't get into foreplay then I start running the Library of Congress numbering system through my head. Sort of like baseball but it helps me *Ahem* and then I can get my head in the game. Otherwise I'll be thinking about my list of things I need to do the next day or if I set the dishwasher going.

Sadie I think that is probably the case. But I did talk to him last night, and he has assured me that he has not faked it, and he doesn't see an issue in telling me if it's just not going to work out for him.

I was kinda nervous to talk to him about this, so soon after our little financial issue. Like he might be feeling bad about that, and just stressed and pressured in general. But it's all okay now.

MttM - that's hilarious. Have you shared that particular technique with DttM? I could totally see that turning into an awesome library-based fantasy.

Yes I have shared that one with him. I also play Solitaire and Busta Move 3000 in my head.

I worked in a Government library for three years. I've known too many librarians for that fantasy to work.

Damn! Did Sadie just insinuate that I have a small unit??? That's cold.

DGB - I'm sure that's not what she meant. All Offsprung men can knock lamps over with their junk, I'm sure. It's OTHER dudes. Like my second boyfriend. Poor dude. *snicker*

I really wasn't DGB. I bet they totally knew and didn't want to make you feel bad by letting on.

DGB, you got dissed.
Oh, and I've never faked it. I didn't think guys did that kind of thing. And to second one of the earlier questions, why? I don't need an answer to that.

Sadie...Jus' kidding. No worries at all. It's just that....WHOOPS!...just knocked over my lamp.

Ok. Now I have a mental image akin to a labradore clearing off a coffee table with one swipe of its tail.

I am totally laughing out loud reading this. Hehehehe!

I have nothing useful to add to the conversation.