They scream for HOURS! Inconsolable, gurgling shrieks!

Honestly... I know this is a phase, and that my oldest went through it at this age too, but GRAH I think I'm going to eat my baby. FRAK!

Be honest now. Has anyone here ever had those fleeting thoughts? Maybe not leaving the baby on a mountainside or anything, but leaving them in a Burger King restroom, or finding a hospital drop box and just walking away so you can have a nap?

I used to tell mine we were going to give him to monkeys.

Our first week home I would fantasize about leaving the boys on a rich person's porch in their carseats.

More recently, I've jokingly threatened to drive them to Nebraska and drop them off. Missed my chance with that one.

I would put mine in the crib and go take a really long shower because with the water running you can't hear them so you can pretend you were smart and had used contraception in the first place ;)

I used to threaten to sell mine on Ebay

I still plot about not comming home from work - Chunk and the boys will be fine. I can send a check once a month or something. I regulary threaten to mail them to the congo or feed them to the fish. In fact I just got done treatening to beat Brandon with a rolling pin if he did not take his pill and get out of the kitchen.

Wow this relieves some of my mommy guilt reading this.

I tell them I'm going to mail them to Abu Dhabi.

Any mother who never thought even just for a second of either leaving the baby somewhere or running away herself is a liar - or just someone who wouldn't like to hang out with me for any length of time.

My first screamed bloody blue murder for the first three months of her life...it's a good thing I'm a big drinker or she'd nver have had siblings.

I used to tell both of mine I was going to leave them on the steps of the church up the street from our house. HATE that unrelenting screaming.

Mine has this really guttural meeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHH!!! that is like icepicks in my eardrums. I say sell them to the circus. It's either that or the monkey house at the zoo.

Who is it here that said they were going to leave theirs with the frozen peas in the grocery store? Something about the grocery store. I love that one.

kana - BWAH! Mommy's a drunk. That's why you have a little brother!

I have indeed threatened to leave my children in on frozen peas shelf of the grocery store.

What is it about grocery stores and small children that invokes horrific tantrums, scream-a-thons and general poor behaviour? Am I the only person who can't seem to enter a grocery store with more than one child and make it out without uttering threats, using timeouts and wanting to beat my head against the cart?

i think it's the flourescent lights. it drives them a little crazy. and there's so much stimulation!

our baby screams in the car and on the changing table. i fantasize about opening the car door and walking away. or breaking things. actually, cars are pretty well soundproofed, so if it gets bad enough, i guess i could close the car door and stand outside for a couple minutes. just to make it stop for a second. i change a lot of diapers with earplugs in.

oh yeah, a few times, back in early days, man... i just wanted to put her on the front doorstep, and shut the door. And possibly go back to bed for 8 hours. I love her dearly, but fuck babies can CRY. and it fucking wears you out. and you go about systematically eliminating all the things she could have wrong, and there's NOTHING wrong that you can find, and she's STILL freaking crying... what the hell is the evolutionary purpose of that? (Like, what, make sure impatient mothers kill their children?) How is THAT helpful?

I want another kid at some point, even knowing that the first 3-6 months are bloody difficult. (I put it down to nail varnish fumes making me insane in the brain. There's no other conclusion i can draw.)

I threaten selling him on Ebay, too!

Crying makes anyone insane after a while. They just don't stop, you get tired, cranky, etc.

I used to make up songs about the baby pound. The baby pound was where unwanted babies go, and they get formula that makes them gassy and they DON'T get burped and there are no hugs and certainly no kisses.

I know, awful, but I had to sing something during the crying marathon from 4-8pm...

And yes, I def am having just one child after this, and my weekend

Oh, I didn't threaten anything so benign. I straight up told AlphaGeek one night at dinner (about the Little Miss) that I was going to kill her. I actually used the word infanticide. That was a dark time...thank god she's cute and has that going for her.

We joke about shaking the baby. We also threaten to sell them to the gypsies. Hippy Mom and I have an active fantasy about running away from home-we have worked out how much money we would need and everything. Knowing I really have an out if I wanted one is helpful.

I still threaten to sell mine to the circus pretty regularly. They drive me absolutely batty.

I used to sing to the boys, back during the days on non stop crying jags and no sleep, a lullaby that my mom taught me (I'm sure she sang it to us as well)--"Kid's name, kid's name, I've been thinkin', what a nice world it would be, if the boys/girls were all transported, far beyond the norther sea". And then there's all the muttering under the breath about killing certain children who won't shut up for even five minutes so mommy can not go insane. Mr. S was horrified by me when the boys were babies.

This is my favorite essay ever on motherhood:
http://www.fact.on.ca/news/news0107/nw010702.htm

It's Anna Quindlen's column in Newsweek talking about Andrea Yates (the woman who drowned her kids in the bathtub). She talks about how most mothers can at least imagine going, as she puts it, "quietly bonkers in the house with 5 kids under the age of 7." I love the honesty of the article and the points she makes about how "the insidious cult of motherhood" hurts all of us. LOVE her.

Shit. I guess I shouldn't have anymore. Mine has yet to non-stop cry at four months old. There is no way I could get this lucky again, is there? I did kind of want another one too. Bummer.

Meghan, there are the occasional babies that don't cry. My nephew was lucky enough to have TWO of them, lucky bastard. So you never know!

I remember gazinging lovingly dowen at the infant Dude, asleep in his crib in that baby sleepy position (on tummy, legs tucked up under torso, tiny tusche in the air, thumb in mouth) and whispering to him, "I love you most when you're asleep."

Ugh How'd I miss this thread! Just shaking my head in agreement over here. Looking at a sleeping toddler that is taking way to long of a nap but I could give a shit a need a moments peace and quiet.