I can't remember if I posted this here already or not, but if I did I've clearly forgotten all the words of wisdom, so I'm posting it again. Bear with me, I'm old and tired.

I found this site via my brother. He and my SIL don't have kids yet, but he followed a former columnist here from some other site, I guess, and really liked several of the columns. I've asked him if he still lurks here, and he said no, he's not a parent and since the column he especially liked is gone he hasn't been around much. Also, he and SIL suffered a miscarriage and I think it was a painful reminder for him to be on a parenting site.

Well, now SIL is pregnant, due sometime this spring (late April/early May). What do I do if he comes back here? I know AD wants us to share the love...and I'm reluctantly ok with that (frankly, I like the self-selection that we have here)...but I don't want any of my family on here. I have an OK relationship with him. I like my SIL but can't imagine anyone more different from me in almost every conceivable way.

Basically...I don't want to share, but he got dibs.

Suggestions?

break into his computer and set this site as restricted? other than that - not a clue.

I would create an additional identity for the posts you don't want him to read. Stay as Mommymonster for the posts you are ok with him reading. You'll be limited, but it's better than nothing.

Hmm. I would second the second (hee) identity. You can always PM those who you want to know your alter ego and the rest won't have a clue.

I know there are deeper issues, but you would have to ask yourself if it would be worth the drama to ask him and SIL not to come around.

I would totally get a 2nd identity. It sucks, but it's just what has to be done when RL invades the online one.

Heh. Many communities have a strict policy against second accounts, banning those who are caught using them. I love how different this site is than the rest of the internet.

Yeah, I'm not sure how I would handle that. I guess alterego (super monster? Mrs. Hyde?) is the best way I can see, cause you can't leave us. We'll follow you, shedding fat tears and sticking our lower lips out really far.

Does this site have a second identity policy?

MM - do you know for certain that he'd even come back here? I guess just in case...secret identities come in handy.

I don't know what to tell you. I like the second account idea to give at least some anonymity.

But, much as I love OS, I think I'd have to leave if I found out any of my family or real life friends posted here and also knew my internet alter ego. I don't even think I'd be comfortable with Mr. S being part of OS (seeing as how I complain about him a lot in this forum, plus he'd have a genuine freak out knowing I put pictures of the kids up). It would just be too weird. And it does suck.

I don't know if anyone in "administration" has said anything, but it didn't receive any notice when I said I was creating an alternative account for Recipe Central.

Hi might not...but knowing him, and how he would probably fit in here pretty well, he'll probably be back. I think it bothers me more about SIL - she can be pretty uptight - and I'd hate for him to tell her about the goings on around here (I can't fathom her being on any chat/message site, much less this one).

Guess we'll have to wait and see. Maybe he'll be so wrapped up in The Bundle when s/he arrives that he won't have time or energy for surfing.

For the record, I'm absolutely ecstatic about becoming a first time Auntie!! All the fun, none of the fuss!

i don't know about second identities - i can't actually log out of this personality for some reason, it says "you are logged out" but still says "hi, bol" in the top corner, and i'm still logged in, no matter how many times i press 'log out'. :/ i think it's one per person. unless you buy a second computer, you're you for life. :|

on the other hand, i haven't had to log in since they updated the site.

it's an ok idea though, if you can make it work.

I've been through the process of family-discovery, but I actually have no real advice. My family haven't spoken to me at all since, but i suspect that there's still a few of them reading what i write here; so everything i've written for the last month is a lie. :P

I'm terrified my family will find me hear but I still want my BIL to join. He rocks and so does my almost SIL (if he ever gets around to asking her). They both feel the same way about my inlaws (sans them) that I do.

My grandmother made it on here somehow and found out I was pregnant. I was planning on waiting until after the 8 week mark and that would have saved me the heart ache of having to tell my extended family that I had miscarried. I erased any path to OS I might have created on my blog but if she ever makes it to Facebook I'm fucked. How can you not friend your grandmother?

I'd go with the second id for the real venting specifically about them.

How are people finding you all on here? Of course, I have a picture of my kid as an icon, so I suppose I could be found pretty easily. But if you have a generic icon and an obscure name (say 3 numbers), how are your IRL friends/family connecting you to your Offsprung life?

1five9 - this is exactly why I no longer use my kiddos as my avatar and erased my profile info. Just in case. Although I think the meanest thing I've done is refer to my younger sister as High Maintenance Sister and the older one as Know It All Sister.

If your SIL does make it on here, if she's like you say she is, she probably won't want to stick around. Hey, I know. Let us know if she is on here and we'll start posting threads that are really fucked up so we can scare her away. :)

Yeah - I definitely try not to say too much about people IRL, though honestly, there is really noone in my current life that I would gripe much about. I borrowed my SIL's computer on Black Friday to check something but I went nowhere near OS. I would have nothing but good things to say about her, but I just don't want anyone that close to me IRL reading some of the stuff I post here, tame though it may be.

I was totally anonymous for quite awhile on here 'til I took the plunge on FB. There is some stuff I would like to write about, but now that I've outed myself, I've had a hard time convincing myself to do it. Maybe I will, maybe not. Anyhow, I hope it doesn't even become an issue for you.

It is totally easy to change your ID here. I just did it. All I did was use my other e-mail account.

Oooh, now we have a Mystery Poster (for those of you in the Bay Area, I'm thinking of the KFGO Mystery Date jingle).

Shall we play 10 questions?

LFT, are you male or female?

animal, vegetable or mineral?

Play away.Q1 yes Q2 yes

I know 6 OSers in RL is all you get.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anonymous

If you want it, you just do it. You don't tell.