by Amanda Marcotte Monday, May 26th, 2008  15 comments

The neckties of the apocalypse

I’ve been hanging onto this all weekend, because it’s a real Monday morning bit of hilarity. It’s also a good indicator of how the concept of the boycott, wielding so powerfully when used strategically by the civil rights movement, has really devolved into a temper tantrum that’s less about effecting change and more about the boycotter preening over her moral superiority. Observe Rachel Ray’s outfit in a new ad for Dunkin Donuts:

To ordinary people, this is an example of someone wearing the confusing combination of a lightweight summer shirt and a scarf. There are two major possibilities here. One is that this is yet another example of the fashion trend fascists trying to push a stupid idea on the public to see who buys into it. Considering that said fascists have successfully convinced a handful of women to dress like this:

That theory is not completely out of the question. The other possibility is that Ray showed up to the shoot with a hickey on her neck they couldn’t cover with make-up. It wouldn’t be more tasteless than some of her recipes.

Or, if you believe that there’s a Communist under every rock, you come to the conclusion Michelle Malkin came up with: That Ray and Dunkin Donuts are sending secret brain signals supporting Palestine’s independence to everyday Americans who patriotically consume donuts, unaware of the danger.

I had to double check the URL to make sure this isn’t a Malkin parody site, because this is hard to swallow as written by a sincere human being. The paranoid wingnuttery is too pitch perfect.

Sigh. You all know I’ve been a fan of Dunkin Donuts for quite some time–and have touted their strong position in favor of immigration enforcement.

You can taste the racism in every bite. No really, you know how corny ads will say that food made with love tastes better? Not true, but if you make a donut under the banner of immigration hysteria, that makes the sweet just a little sweeter and the grease just a little greasier. Krispy Kreme has nothing on that.

Charles Johnson notes, and many readers have e-mailed about, Dunkin Donuts’ spokeswoman Rachel Ray’s clueless sporting of a jihadi chic keffiyeh in a recent DD ad campaign. I’m hoping her hate couture choice was spurred more by ignorance than ideology.

There are so many weird assumptions here. One is that Palestinians just hate Israel for irrational reasons, for the reason that you might like the color red over blue in your sweater selection. Of course, Malkin hates Mexican immigrants as a fashion choice, so that line of thinking probably makes sense to her.

But I think what made me most amused was the concept of a “jihad chic keffiyeh”. There’s so much to unpack there. I’m sure the idea of “jihad chic” makes perfect sense to Malkin’s audience, which is largely comprised of middle aged white men who wear camouflage while not actually trying to camouflage themselves from enemy fire or even deer, but to send the signal to other people in society that: a) Yes, we are the assholes who aggressively wear camouflage and b) The only reason you think it’s funny to dress like a complete dork with masculinity issues is because you’re a liberal elitist who just doesn’t understand the pain of being mediocre and always questioning your manhood. From there, it’s a quick jump to assuming that the terrorists and elitists are in a scarf-bearing conspiracy against you to make you look even more like a mental midget who spends all his time war blogging to beef up his sense of patriotic manliness, because to actually enlist and fight the war in Iraq would mean more time running and jumping and less time eating Dunkin Donuts.

You gotta love what passes for a brilliant observation in Malkin Land.

Commenter John Ansell writes: “DD should just bring the one fat guy back to do their ads.”

To you or I, this sounds like a weak-minded retort, but there’s actually a reason it sends shockwaves of “Hell yes!” through the wingnut community. Back in those days, Americans were not pantywaists. We didn’t accept our sales pitches from mere females. Nowadays the whole tube is clogged up with hot bitches that you’ll never be nor fuck, and they aren’t just draped over merchandise in bikinis. They’re actually doing stuff in a professional capacity (like being a famous chef) while fully dressed. Nowadays you only have to do one stint in Maxim magazine while half-dressed to alert everyone that you have, um, a sense of humor and then you can go on with your life, pitching donuts and taking work from the fat guys of old.

Malkin does decide against the boycott, but they did manage to get the ad pulled by complaining.

Filed under We Support Your War Of Terror.